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Three Years
By Margot | January 19, 2008
January 19th, 2008Â
Today is the third anniversary of the day Sam was diagnosed. We have been fighting this beast for three years. If anyone had told me that we would be at this for three years when we were first diagnosed, I don’t think I could have stood it. Yet, here we are and what a journey. These three years have included the most raw emotional pain we could have ever imagined, yet they also taught us how precious good times and joy and laughter are and how precious our children are. They have taught us how brave one little boy can be. We have received amazing kindnesses from people and our friends and family have stood by us solidly through all three years. Thank you does not really say it.
 I’ve thought a lot these last three years about the quote from one of my all time favorite movies based on my all time favorite book, A River Runs Through It by Norman McLean. The quote is not in the book, it was changed a bit for the movie.  The younger brother, Paul, who is an amazing fisherman has just caught an enormous fish through sheer skill and tenacity and his brother upon witnessing it says the following:  “At that moment, I knew surely and clearly that I was witnessing perfection. My brother stood before us not on the bank of the Big Blackfoot River but suspended above the earth, free from all it’s laws like a work of art. And I knew just as surely and just as clearly that life is not a work of art and that the moment couldn’t last.” My “work of art” picture of Sam in my head is always that of him with his hands thrown up in victory after scoring a soccer goal or a basket in basketball with a huge smile on his face and joy radiating from his being. I want so much for him to have a million moments like that and I want for him to put that victory stamp on cancer.  But I have learned to appreciate the moments as we go. I appreciate my friends who laugh with me about some of the absurd things that come out of people’s mouths – like the time I was at a party and an older man said to me, “Is that Sam? I thought he was a goner. Nice to see the little fella.”  And the time a mouse jumped out of my mother’s purse in the parking lot of the grocery store and she ran screaming into the store talking about the Hanta Virus and her grandson with cancer scaring the crap out of all the people in the grocery store.  I couldn’t even get the story out, I was laughing so hard when I was telling it to Colleen and Cathy and my Dad. The odd thing is that the moments can happen even during the worst of times. So I try to remember them, to brand them into my brain, the feeling of Sam tackle-hugging me at school and watching him laugh until he can’t breathe - watching Andy explain something to me using all of his big gestures and wonderful expressions, watching Charlie dive bomb his brothers from the couch – watching and listen to Neil when he’s got a hold of an idea, watching all of them play football in the park together.
HVA/VMA is not back yet from Wednesday. LDH is 651 (stable). Andy’s birthday is quickly approaching. Neil will be in New York at the end of the month for a meeting that he and other parents have organized with parents, doctors and researchers coming up with new ideas for treatments to try in the lab. I’ll post some more details on it shortly. What they have organized is phenomenal.Â
Please think good thoughts and say some prayers for Austin Melgar and his familly.
Happy January 19.
MargotÂ
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Topics: Progress Reports | 2 Comments »
January 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Hey Guys,
Cool new look on the website and great posting Marg. The kids were talking today in the car about how much they want to see their cousins Sam, Andy & Charlie.
Gotta tell you this one from Finnbar: At Eden’s christening (today)in the Swedish Church, ceremony is all in Swedish so Finnbar is truly unhappy stuck in the church. I get him happy with some thumb wrestling and then, as he’s waiting for the actual baptism, he starts looking for amusement and so leans close to me, putting his lips right IN my ear and whispers “Vagina.” I thought I was going to wet my pants I was luaghing so hard.
Love you guys and miss you heaps,
Uncle Paul
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:48 am
Margo- I hope you know how in Awe I am of you and your family. You are truly an inspiration to those of us who are dealing with life on a much smaller scale. ( is there one?)
I am always amazed with your ability to be ‘present’ every moment you are with your children. I think about this often as I walk up tp KS to pick up natalie- wondering if the Neighbors have heard me yelling at the other two on my short trip. I try to truly ‘be there’ instead of in my head planning the next move- or dinner. I know what it is like to not be able to ‘make your kid better’ by sheer will. Madening. I think about this often as Nick recovers from the last surgery, and we prepare for another. You’re an amazing family – We Storch’s think about you guys often. I am glad we met and can be friends.
Congrats to Sam. You have a true fighter there!!! Hes gonna win this one!!
Rebecca