March and The Moment
By Margot | March 3, 2011
First, I should give an update on the boys. They are good. They are thriving. I met with Charlie’s teachers this week for his parent teacher conference and they said how well he is doing and that he is a real leader in his class. They told me what a detailed and careful artist he is (I couldn’t help be reminded of Sam) and marveled at how much he enjoys dancing and putting on some moves at school during music. He’s definitely got some rhythm. They said he is ready for kindgergarten next year, which we knew and were planning on but he is an August baby, and many well meaning people have suggested we wait as that seems to be the trend. He’s ready though and it was nice to hear from his teachers that they think he’ll do well. He finished up his basketball season and is on to soccer. I’m coaching and it’s fun to watch him as he gets better and better. He is a funny funny boy. Loves to hide under covers and have us pretend to get tired of looking for him and use him as a pillow and then pretend to be surprised when the pillow moves. That never gets old for him.
Andy is juggling all of his sports and chess and doing well in school. He’s still got a posse of girls that love to chase him after school – I think I posted that last time. He’s excited for March Madness, though it’s a little delicate explaining to him why BYU’s best rebounder is out for the season. Sorry to be cryptic but if you read the sports articles you’ll know what I mean ;-). We all went to see the USD vs. Gonzaga game last weekend and even though USD got crushed the boys had a great time and Neil and I were glad we took them. Andy is excited for Grandpa to come in April. He’s going to do a science presentation for his class like he did for Sam’s classes. Sam did not like much being in the spotlight for that but Andy is super excited. He doesn’t shy away from the spotlight ;-). He and I stopped by the new hospital oncology ward after his dentist’s vist and dropped off some ToysRus gift cards. He was very cute with nurse Sam and she couldn’t believe how big he’d gotten. It is odd to go the new hospital because I don’t have any connection to it or any memories of Sam there. I see the old building and am flooded with memories. Makes it easier to go the new hospital I guess.
Life is funny. After five years of trying to force myself to live in the moment and try not to dwell too much about the future and take every precious moment with the kids and cherish them, this past year I have been trying to be so busy as to be forced to live in the now so that I don’t drown in the past. But March has arrived and with it the past will slam into me and force me to face the hard reality of one whole year without Sam, without his laugh, or his smile, without his arms and legs wrapped around me so I could carry him, or his stubborn insistence on something, or his great dance moves, or keen observations that I would have never noticed, or his eye roll, or his ribbing of his brothers, or his excellent scrabble game, or his demanding me to read. Before Sam died when I wasn’t living in the moment, I would worry. How? How I would think, will I be able to look at the 5th graders, or someone with healies, or artichokes, or Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or The Diary of a Wimpy Kid? How will I hear the song All Star? I couldn’t imagine surviving it just as when Sam was first diagnosed I thought “How in the world will we get through all this treatment, this horrible, awful treatment? Now when I let myself think about it, I think how will I get through March 12th? It will be a hard one to fake. I keep thinking about Sally Field in the movie Steel Magnolias when she is yelling that she’s fine that she could run miles but her daughter can’t and never could. I feel like that a lot. I wonder that I have survived all that I thought I couldn’t and thanks to a grief induced exercise obsession am in good physical shape – it’s totally incongruent in my brain.
I’m sure we will get through March 12 – each of our family in our own way. Another couple of quotes that I think about from Steel Magnolias: one from Sally Field “I was there when this wonderful creature drifted into our lives and I was there when she drifted out.” Both Neil and I were there when Sam drifted (more like crashed in his case) into our lives and were there when he drifted out. When I’m in a good spot, I try to think that we are lucky for that (when I’m in a bitter spot I question why he had to drift out at all). The other quote from Steel Magnolias that I’ve been thinking about lately is from Shelby, the daughter in the movie who died, “I’d rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” I would rather have had nine and a half years of Sam than a lifetime of no Sam.
We were lucky to have Sam as we are lucky to have his special, wonderful brothers – all three the lights of our life.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 14 Comments »
Repress Repress and Andy Turns Eight Tomorrow
By Margot | January 28, 2011
Andy going for a layup (photo by Uncle Matt)
Charlie and Ben Getting their feet massaged at the zoo
Goofy Sam - God, we miss him
Sorry for the lack of update, I’ve been avoiding it because it’s painful. I actually have to delve into feelings that day to day I completely repress. Good news on that front though, Time Magazine did a piece on grief after those awful shootings in Arizona. It turns out that studies show that repressing grief is just as healthy for you as wallowing. So if we all thought (I thought) that I was going to have a complete blow up/melt down/mental breakdown at some point from shoving it all down, it turns out, according to Time Magazine, I may be sort of normal.
We had a very nice Christmas. In contrast to the build up to Christmas, having it with my family, the boys having their cousins and all of us going on a fantastic ski/snowboard (for Andy) trip was the best mecidine. As a mom friend who lost her son this summer texted me, coming home was the hard part. I must give a big thank you to our “Christmas Angels” who left an anonymous gift bag at our door before Christmas. I was having a particularly low day and the gifts were so thoughtful, the boys loved the games and we were so touched by the card and the Sammy’s gift card. Whoever you all are -thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Once school and sports started back up in January, we started going, and have been going since, nonstop. Andy and Charlie both doing basketball, soccer tryouts and getting ready for baseball this spring has kept things interesting. Also, navigating it all as Andy gets older is more interesting and tricky. Not tricky like treatment decision kind of tricky though, and that helps keep it all in perspective.
I try not to think about where we were last year at this point, having learned that Sam had NB in his liver and wondering how and even if he would make it to Andrew’s birthday. In true Sam fashion, he not only made it there but rode a bike at the party. I try to avoid those thoughts – it’s like getting the stockings out for Christmas (we brought Sam’s with us -thanks Lisa Riniolo for the suggestion). I opened the Christmas box, snatched the stockings out of it as if I were snatching them out of fire and then ran out of the garage. It’s as if all those thoughts are fire in my brain and I have to put on my fire suit before I get to them.
Speaking of thoughts, we are starting to put together thoughts on a tennis tournament in Sam’s honor to raise money. It was Colleen’s idea and I think Sam would have loved it because he had so much fun at tennis and it’s something that I think we can handle putting together (little do I know I’m sure). Colleen and I looked at the school calendar today and I had to leave when we got to June and all of the end of the year things planned for the 5th grade class graduating this year. Ugh. She’s working on a great page for the yearbook this year about Sam. I’ll post it here when it comes out.
Charlie and Andy are doing very well. They sure keep us laughing. We had a three day Monopoly game last week and Andy always says “Sam You Rock” as he blows on his dice to get a lucky roll. He won, completely bankrupting me. Charlie and I went to the zoo with his best buddy from school, Ben. They were so cute together and we had a very nice day. Ben is as crazy about sports as Charlie is and their little group of boys play basketball and football at school every day. Charlie is starting to read and shouts out the signs when we drive anywhere. He’s liking basketball though he’s playing with and against some pretty big kids so he gets frustrated when he doesn’t get passed the ball a lot.
Andrew is basketball crazy and loving it. He’s trying out for soccer and starts baseball in the spring. I can’t believe he will be eight tomorrow, though as every year with him, I can’t believe it and then I also can’t believe he’s not already twenty. We are doing a laser tag party for him and he has two basketball games tomorrow. He’s having a great time at school and gets chased by all the girls after school when I pick him up. He tells me with a big grin that he doesn’t like “all the prissy girls.” He really likes his teacher Mrs. Carlson and she loves to tease him. They had a bet on the San Diego State /BYU basketball game and Andy won -he likes Jimmer Fredette and Mrs. Carlson joked that she didn’t even want to come to school the next day. He’s doing great academically and is still doing chess club. Sam would be so proud of his progress in chess. We love you so much Andy boy, Happy Birthday!
Please keep all the NB families in your thoughts and prayers, especially the Witts who lost brave and wonderful Liam this past week, the Carrascos who lost beautiful Ylaria, the Bartoz’s who had tough scans this week and still manage to inspire, Nick Franca, who continues to amaze us all, and the Vannis whose precious Sal had scans this week as well – hoping for good news there.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 12 Comments »
Meredith’s Christmas Pics
By Margot | December 20, 2010
Wanted to post Meredith’s pics up here. We love them. We used one of Deb’s pictures of Sam and they turned out so well. Thanks Deb for being so gracious about letting us use all of your pictures. Credit to Meredith Brunette (www.meredithbrunettephotography.com) and Deb Schwedhelm (www.debsphotographs.com) two women with an amazing photographic eye who we are blessed to know.
Topics: Progress Reports | 17 Comments »
The Grinch
By Margot | December 14, 2010
“The Grinch hated Christmas! The Whole Christmas Season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right. It could be perhaps that his shoes were too tight. But I think the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes two small.” -Dr. Seuss
I think maybe The Grinch’s heart was broken. I’ve been thinking of him up alone in his cave a lot this Christmas season and I sort of wish I were up there with him. The refrain in my head lately is, “I MUST find some way to stop this Christmas from coming!” That’s what comes from reading Dr. Seuss 700 times to your kids. I seem to be on the verge of tears all the time these days. The Christmas music, the lights, the trees, the cookies. Argh. Sam was such a Christmas guy. He loved to put on the Christmas music with me and decorate the tree and cookies and do all the Christmas stuff and he loved picking out presents. He loved giving people his presents. I think he liked that more than getting them and he sure did like getting them. He loved to read “Bear’s Christmas Star” when he was little and put the star on the top of the tree.
We did decorate his mixed up tree with lights and I bought some new lights to put up on the front window. I am too much of a chicken to brave the garage to get the decorations out and the thought of packing our stockings for New Mexico and seeing Sam’s in the bunch makes me sick. He would be so mad at me for wimping out like I am.
We all know there was hope for the Grinch and I promise not to steal Christmas. There are two little boys from whom I cannot possibly steal it and my hope lies in them. Christmas magic has snuck in anyway of course. Charlie talking to Santa at the tree lighting on the pier and backing up into me as far as possible and whispering what he wanted so Santa could barely hear and asking me beforehand if we were going to see “the real Santa.” Andy asking for about 50 sports jerseys and when I stopped to tell him they are not cheap he replied, “Hellloooo, Santa? YOU don’t have to pay.” And in contrast, Andy so grown up last night telling me on the way home from the park when I was teary, “Well, mom, we just have to make the best of it. Sam is here with us.” Charlie downstairs singing to Elizabeth, “III’mmm goooing to plaayy Madden 09 because I looove football and I’mmm going to plaaay Chargers and 49ers becaaase it is the Thursday night gaaame.” Andy, who pulled his hip flexor in soccer practice on Friday and had to miss his All Star Tournament except for a little goalie time, remembering to limp the last couple of days only after someone asked him about the injury. My hope lies in all four of us getting out of town – going to New Mexico and Telluride and being with my whole family including my brother and his whole family who are flying in from Australia. It lies in cousin chaos for the boys and snow and a big tree that my dad cut down and luminarias and tamales.
Meredith took wonderful pictures of the boys and Neil and me for Christmas cards which I don’t know if I can send out. We took one of Deb’s pictures of Sam with us (hope that’s ok, Deb) and they came out so well. I promise to post them if I don’t send out cards. I told Meredith I wouldn’t even know what to say on a card and she came up with the perfect quote that she’d found for us by Agnes M. Pharo, “What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.” Now, I just need some help with that courage part.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 9 Comments »
Thanksgiving/Bye Week
By Margot | November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving. Hard to believe I haven’t updated since Halloween. We have finished up regular season soccer and baseball and Andy is doing All Star soccer and basketball and Charlie is going to be in the basketball draft this Friday. I’m stage moming him in since he’s only four and he’s supposed to be five but he’s tall enough and wants to do it. He’s football obsessed lately and last week said to me, “So Mom, next week is my bye week from school right?” Is there such a thing as too much football for a four year old?
We went to the bookstore with Grandma Sara and Grandma Joan and Uncle Matt earlier this week and he bought football books. One of which is a book about SuperBowls which has a story about every team that ever won the Super Bowls and which ones they won and in which year. The problem with the book is that all of the SuperBowls are in totally random order and they put the number of the SuperBowl in roman numerals so I read the book to Charlie and then have to pause for thirty seconds while I figure out what the heck the roman numeral equates to in regular numbers. His preschool teachers said he is organizing football games in preschool and everyone looks up to him because he knows all the rules. It’s pretty funny.
Andy got an excellent report card a couple of weeks ago. He’s doing pretty well. His teacher showed me one of his writing pieces where they had to write about a happy or sad time in their lives and Andy asked if he could write about both. He wrote about a time when he was playing football and wrestling with Sam and they were laughing and laughing and then Charlie came over and asked if he could play and they “tesed and tesed him” and then he wrote that the saddest time in his life was when he “herd that Sam died.”It just about killed me but I am glad that he is writing about Sam.
I guess it’s pretty obvious in this update what I am thankful for. I am trying so hard to get to the place where I am thankful for having Sam for nine years and not just sad that he’s not here for 81 or 91 more. I wish I could just nicely write that and leave it but it wouldn’t be all that genuine. We have a video of him from last year’s Thanksgiving and Uncle Matt keeps asking him to say Happy Thanksgiving and he has this big grin on his face and he rolls his eyes and says, “I already said it, I’m not saying it again for the camera.” I love it, it shows Sam’s sense of humor and personality so well. I would promise to figure out vidoe editing and put it up here but anyone who’s been reading this blog for any amount of time knows that is an empty promise. I didn’t realize that I would wake up with such a lump in my throat today. The thought of saying what I am thankful for at the dinner table puts me into a panic mode and puts tears in my eyes – so I may have to opt out. It doesn’t mean I am not thankful for my wonderful family, my husband, Charlie, Andy and Sam, and all the wonderful people we met through our cancer journey, as well as the friends that held us up and kept us going through it all, even the parts that were so impossibly hard. It just means that Thanksgiving without that eyeroll and that smile is going to be tough.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 10 Comments »
Hawaii and Halloween
By Margot | October 28, 2010
boys on the front of the boat on the way to snorkeling
Charlie and Dad driving the boat
Captain Andy
Sam's first Halloween
Sam's 2nd Halloween
Sam's third Halloween
Sorry for the lack of update. We just got back from six days in Mauii. We had a great time snorkeling and going down the pool slide and relaxing in general. We got great tickets through an Alaskan Airlines promotion and decided we had to go back. It was beautiful weather and great to get away from it all. I even forgot my cell phone so was completely disconnected for six whole days. We did a boat trip to a couple of great snorkeling spots and Andy was all over the snorkeling. He swam right next to big turtles and wanted to explore everywhere, he was snorkeling right off the beach at the Sheraton Hotel. He also did some cliff jumping off of Black Rock that was pretty brave for a seven year-old. Neil and I both jumped with him and we had to get up our nerves after looking over the edge. Charlie loved the pool and the pool slide. We snuck him in to the big kids slide at our hotel with Mommy’s wristband and he went on it all day with us. He was enchanted by the parrots at the hotel that could talk. He kept wanting to go down and talk with them and seemed to equate Hawaii with talking birds. Neil and I had a nice relaxing time too. Many memories of Sam and our trip there two years ago. We went back and said hello to the bell captain who Neil befriended and who’d helped us get to the hospital in the middle of the night when Sam spiked a fever. He was very touched that Neil had come back to say hello. It was a great family trip and we needed it.
Now we are gearing up for Halloween. We put up our decorations yesterday and the outside of our house is very spooky. Tomorrow is the carnival at school and Charlie’s preschool parade. We will carve pumpkins tonight and will make sure that there are three. Once again my friends are rescuing me. We will trick or treat in a new neighborhood this year for something different. Rebecca has invited us to start at her house and do her neighborhood which is very kid friendly and the boys are excited. Thanksgiving will be at Lisa’s house and my mom is flying out for that. Christmas is still up in the air but we’ll figure something out. We may need to stick around here after our big vacation splurge
Basketball has started and soccer and baseball will wind down this month, we should have a slower winter schedule but who knows. I’ll post some pictures of the boys in their costumes ( Charlie is the cutest ninja and Andy is a punk zombie rocker/skater dude). Thought you might like Sammy’s early Halloween pics.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 9 Comments »
Mixed-Up Tree
By Margot | October 1, 2010
The Tree We Planted in the Courtyard for Sam
Andy Hitting a Homerun in Baseball
Charlie Holding up a "Believe in San Diego" at the Padre Game
Sam batting at age two
We planted a tree in our courtyard for Sam this week. Neil dug out the big planter that was filled with rock hard dirt and roots and Andy and I picked out the tree and we all planted it. Charlie and Andy loved mixing up the soil and soaking the hole and using the shovel and pic ax -which was very interesting. We knew we wanted a citrus tree but weren’t sure what kind to get. Sam loved oranges and lemonade so when Andy and I went to the nursery we looked at all of the citrus trees. I’d heard of trees that had grafted branches with different citrus fruits on each branch. I asked if they had one and they did have one but it didn’t have oranges on it and was too big. It took Andy and I forever to decide on size and type of fruit and the salesman said if I ordered another one of the hybrid trees it could take months to come in so we decided on a pink lemon tree. Right before it was wheeled up, the man noticed it had scale (bugs that will kill it) so we couldn’t get it and had to order a lemon tree from the Mission Valley store. The salesman told us to drive down and pay for it today so the order could come in on Thursday. So Andy and I hopped in the car and drove to the Mission Valley store to pay for and order the lemon tree. When we got there I asked if they happen to have a hybrid tree (the salesman at the first store told us they would never have a hybrid tree at the Mission Valley store) but he said of course, we call them champagne cocktail trees. It was the perfect size with oranges, lemons and limes on it and it was seventy dollars more than our gift certificate allowed. I smiled because I could hear Sam in my head urging me to get it because it was so cool and had all of the fruits on it. He would have gotten such a kick out of it. He loved swirl ice-cream, mixed-up cheese (that’s what he called Colby Jack his favorite because it had white and yellow cheese in it), one red hearing aid and one blue one, different colored shoe laces, and of course, whatever he chose was always more expensive than I’d bargained for. This was his perfect tree and it’s now happily planted in our courtyard. It was very theraputic to plant it. I felt really good about it. I’m not a garderner by nature. I inherited my mom’s brown thumb and I always thought that “gardening as therapy” was crazy but I have to say there is definitely something to it. I’ll let you all know as soon as we make pink lemonade.
We’ve been having a baseball themed fall. We have been to two Padre games lately. Last night we went with some season tickets one of my tennis teammates gave us and they happened to be behind home plate. The boys were so excited. The Padres still have a chance to make the playoffs but just barely. We also went to a game last Friday night with Uncle Matt. They won last night and Kurt Bonebrake gave the boys a foul ball. Andy took it to school today for show and tell. He was so excited about it. Charlie is going to take it tomorrow. Thanks Kurt, you made their night. Andy’s team is looking better and we’ve been out working with the team trying to get them to hit the ball off the hitting machine. He’s really liking baseball and soccer and is looking forward to basketball starting up. We’re trying to get him not to be so hard on himself in sports and school. He has very high standards for himself. An aide who has been working in Mrs. Carlson’s class stopped me today after drop off and said, “I just want to tell you that Andy is such a cute, wonderful kid. He’s so bright and funny and the things that come out of his mouth… Mrs. Carlson and I just look at each other amazed. “Charlie is loving soccer and doing very well in school. His teacher told me today that he’s always willing to share in meeting time and volunteers to help with things and is always happy – big change from last year. He’s going to be a ninja for Halloween. We are babysitting Rosco the dog and Charlie gets such a kick out of him. Rosco always puts a smile on Charlie’s face. He loves his soccer team and though he doesn’t do a dance like Andy used to when he scores, he does a backwards swaggery run. It’s hard to describe.
This week I’ve been just exhausted. I would say “for some reason” in front of that but I think I know the specific reason which is that we have an insane schedule (totally of my own making – this grief avoidance thing can really wear a person out). Wednesday (half day) Neil and I left work early to do a batting practice for the team. We picked them all up from school and did pizza and brought them to the field and did batting practice with Big Joe and then later that night we went to the Padre game. It was one of those “what were we thinking?” kind of moments. I’m much more energized today after going for a run and am gearing up for soccer practice tonight. Thinking about Sam always- watching the 5th graders goof around putting ice down each other’s shirts on back-to-school night Tuesday night just made me think what fun he would have had.
The Arms Wide Open Foundation won 2nd place in the Pepsi grant voting and gets $250,000 for cancer research. Hurray! and thanks to everyone who voted. There is an article in the New York Times today about the politics of the whole thing. Somehow politics sneak their way into everything from school boards to medical care to philanthropy. The link to the article is here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/01/business/01pepsi.html Kudos to John Bartoz for standing up for the little guys.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 9 Comments »
School, Baseball, Soccer, Max’s Run, Because of Sam
By Margot | September 17, 2010
Back of the TeamSam shirts
Jenna, me, Colleen and Lisa at Max's run
Sam running on the beach with his soccer ball
 Jenna, Colleen, Lisa and I ran Max’s Run last weekend. It was great to see the turnout and great to see some of the nurses there and NB families that I hadn’t seen in quite a while – and some I hadn’t ever met. It was a great event and lots of fun and lots of emotion. I didn’t make 26 minutes but got in under 27 which was ok. While we were there a young woman came up to me and asked if I was Sam’s mom. She handed me an envelope that said “MagicWater-Because of Sam” on it. She said she’d been following our site for a long time and that she’d recently traveled to Africa and given soccer balls to children in 12 different countries in honor of Sam: Sudan, Rwanda, Kenya, Uganda, Congo, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Botswana, Nambia, Lesotho, Swaziland and South Africa. The envelope contained pictures of all of the teams that received new balls and a card she had made up with pictures of Sam and his soccer ball on a green soccer field background that said “In Celebration of Samuel Thomas Hutchison” and at the bottom “Sam You Rock!!!” Some of the pictures of the teams included one of the team members holding Sam’s card. Rachel, if you are reading this, thank you so much. I can’t tell you how touched we were and I know Sam would get such a kick out of all of those teams getting soccer balls in his name. I can just see his big grin. I haven’t had a chance to scan all of pictures yet but I will try to get them up here soon.
The boys are doing well in school. Charlie has made a new friend named Ben and though he’s happy to see me when I pick him up, he runs right off when I drop him off in the mornings. He’s been quoting Johnny Test (a cartoon guy) saying, “I know I’m going to regret this” before he does things. It’s pretty funny. He won his soccer game last week. I think it was nearly a shut out. He scored a goal and was so happy. Coaching the little kids is very funny. One little girl Isabella keeps raising her hand at me and saying, “Coach, I’n not tired!” We are still doing swimming on Thursdays and he’s starting side-breathing.
Andy is doing well in school and liking it. Though getting information out of him is like pulling teeth. I keep threatening to go volunteer in his classroom so I can get some scoop. He won his soccer game last week in a blowout but lost his baseball game 28 to 2 and was sobbing in the dugout in the sixth inning. It was pretty painful and they had to use the five run rule every inning. Poor Andy was trying to cover the whole field in the outfield as not every kid seems to notice the ball rolling by their ankle. Andy and Jake both got hits each time they got up to bat and Andy stole around the bases after hits from Jake and scored the two runs his team got. Hopefully this weekend’s game won’t be so bad. He’s still dribbling a basketball everywhere he goes and his in his composition book at school he’s writing a chapter book called The History of Basketball (part fiction, part nonfiction he says). I have visions of some poor girl in high school listening to basketball talk her whole date. Uncle Paul, I’ll have to read it you. when it’s finished.
I’m working hard and trying to get my feet back under me career-wise. The holidays are coming up and in my keep busy, keep moving mode, I sometimes make myself aware that they are coming up and get a feeling of such complete and utter dread that I zoom right by the thought and pretend that it will take much longer than a month to get to Halloween. We are trying to figure out Christmas but will involve some sort of travel as I can’t stomach it here and I think more family around as dilution will be helpful for the boys. Ugh. See, I can’t really write about it without a big lump moving up in my throat.
Anyway, Neil is doing well and is actually going to golf this weekend. He’s doing great at his job and is coaching two of Andy’s teams. He’s still struggling to even go to school. He went to pick up Andy today for me while I was on a conference call and said he had to hustle him out of there quickly, and he also noticed the same thing I’ve noticed -the fifth graders look so tall of a sudden.
Thanks for checking in on us. Please keep Patrick, Nick, Evan, Liam, Sal, Jack, Hans, Will and all of the kids still fighting in your thoughts and prayers. And if you get a chance go to Pespi’s website http://www.refresheverything.com/categories/health and vote for the $250,000 grant to provide less toxic therapies for children with cancer. It’s the Arms Wide Open Foundation for children with Neuroblastoma. It’s currently in 4th place.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 10 Comments »
First Week of School Wrap Up
By Margot | September 10, 2010
Andy, Jake and Charlie on Andy’s first day
Charlie feeding the fish at Paradise Point after dropping off Andy
Charlie and his buddy Roy on his first day today
Charlie and Hank first day
Andy and Sam on the first day of school in 2008
So overall, we’ve had a good first week of school. Andy has done really well and likes his teacher and his class. They had a little run break in the middle of the day the other day and he established himself as the fastest kid in his class and really, what’s more important in second grade? Mrs. Carlson, his teacher, is going to be great. Charlie didn’t even cry when I dropped him off this morning. We stopped by the little frog in the terrarium on the school patio that he was teaching how to hop last year on our way in to school. He noticed that it’s grown some and lost all of its tadpole tale. I asked him if it had a name and if we should name it and he said yes, we’ll name it Sam Frog. I picked him up and he was happy and barefoot and showed me how he did slam dunk motions on the monkey bars. I asked him how the two new boys were and what they were like and he said, “Well, one guy was sucking on his fingers so I said, “Dude, you’re acting kinda like a baby.” Cringe.
I wish that I could tell you that Tuesday, Andy’s first day was easier then we thought it would be but I would be lying. We’d had a great Labor Day weekend packed with lots of stuff. We were all nervous about school though. Andy said before he went to bed Monday night that he’d never done a first day without Sam and that Sam gave him all his advice. It was like a knife watching all of the fifth graders line up and I hadn’t put two and two together when I requested Mrs. Carlson but she is right next door to Mrs. Gage who teaches fifth grade. I held it together until I got to the car after dropping Andy off. Neil left early before the bell rang and we were both a mess most of the day. I took Charlie out to a breakfast date and to feed the fish at Paradise Point and he cheered me up some (if you look at that smile it’s hard to not be at least a little cheered up by it) and then Lisa, (thank you Lisa) cheered me up later in the day. Andy was in great spirits when I picked him up and has been really happy this week -thank goodness for Andy and Charlie.
We started the crazy after school schedule and it seems to be working out pretty well. Monday – tennis, Tuesday- baseball, Wednesday- free, Thursday- swimming, Friday- soccer, Saturday- soccer, Sunday- baseball. I told my brother and he said, “So what’s with the Wednesday free?” Neil got talked into coaching Andy’s baseball team along with Big Joe and he’s made several Bad News Bears references in the past week but is a good coach for the boys. We have our first soccer games tomorrow – Charlie boy is so excited and Andy’s first baseball game on Sunday. Tennis has been fun but I’m going to have to learn to breathe through my eyelids for my serve. It has a Nuke Laloosh quality in that it’s kind of wild.
We have Max’s Run tomorrow morning. Colleen got our little group t-shirts that say “TeamSam” on the front and on the back say “Because of Sam….. I Run” in two lines This month is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month for those of you that don’t know. Please keep all of our little friends in your thoughts.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 6 Comments »
Gearing Up for School (In More Ways Than One)
By Margot | August 31, 2010
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Charlie and Andy at Legoland Yesterday
Sam, Charlie and Andy with the Castillos at Legoland (what seems like yesterday)
We are getting ready for school. I know most of the rest of the country has already started but Andy and Charlie start next week. I’m trying to focus on all of the practical aspects of getting the boys ready and not dwell on the mental part of starting without Sam. I’m going to suck it up because it’s a big first day of second grade for Andy and he’ll need us.  I’m taking Rhonda Dudley’s advice and am faking it until I make it: http://www.carepages.com/carepages/Sydneymarie
We went to Legoland yesterday and tried the new water park. The boys had a great time and Charlie braved up about half way through and went on all of the big slides. He’s tall enough to go on everything but poor guy is only four so it’s scary for him when his brother says, “Come on Charlie, you are tall enough now. Let’s go.”  The waterpark is definitely a half day thing, we spent the rest of the day going on regular Legoland rides. We had a big group of kids and it was fun for the boys. We went on Sam’s favorite Bionicle roller coaster two times.  It was our first time there without him. We’ve done so many firsts without him lately and I have to keep reminding myself that we will be doing firsts without him for the rest of our lives. Ick. I was thinking about him with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes the other day driving the boys downtown to meet Uncle Matt and a car passed by us with a Ghandi bumper sticker that said “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” and I remembered Sam doing his oral Ghandi report that he and I worked so hard on and I was so proud of him for remembering to say that quote. It was funny timing. Â
Charlie loved his birthday party. It was a great Pump it Up success and he’s very proud to be four.  He’s going to be going to school Monday, Wednesday, Friday this year for half-day preschool.  He’s doing well in soccer and practices with Andy’s team when he’s done with his own practice.
My mantra has been “just keep going,” “keep swimming,” “keep busy.” The tears hit sometimes when I’m not expecting them (and sometimes when I am expecting them- Mack’s 10th birthday) I joined a tennis league and as I told Neil, it’s my first real foray into anything without my “peeps” as they say. Meaning, I’m just meeting the whole team except for Kelly and they don’t know my story yet. I’m usually very insulated by people who went through it with us so the “How many children do you have?” question keeps coming up. It sucks but the tennis part is really fun. I’m still running and a group of us are going to run the Max Run on the 11th. http://www.maxsringoffire.org/max-run/
If I were to do the Monday morning sports report as I used to when I was doing Sam updates this is what you would read about this fall for the Hutchisons:Â
Saturday soccer report: Charlie’s game (mom coach)Â Andy’s game (Dad coach)
Sunday Andy Fall baseball report: (Dad helping coach)
Tuesday: Mom’s tennis report
Sept. 11Â Running report
Add to all of this swimming for both boys and tennis for Andy and I know you are thinking I’ve overdone it on “just keep busy” front.  Particularly for Andy who is going to be one worn out guy. Something’s probably going to have to give. But we’ll try it all out and see what might be expendible.  Andy’s doing well. Charlie is stuck to him like glue lately and doesn’t even want to birthday parties or playdates without him. Poor Andy got bribed and dragged to go with us to a four year old Stawberry shortcake party at the park.  It involved a lot of eye-rolling and sighing on Andy’s part but he was a good sport for the most part. The only good part was that he got to smash open the pinata after all the four year olds had a go at it. Good batting practice.  He and I are on the second Percy Jackson book now, we read Big Red in between which he liked a lot.Â
I’ll update next week after the first day of school. Please keep all of the kids still fighting this nasty disease in your thoughts and prayers there are so many in trouble lately.   Today is the 2nd anniversary of the day Max Mikulak went to heaven. Please keep the Mikulaks in your thoughts today.
Margot
Topics: Progress Reports | 5 Comments »